SPRING R.A.I.N. AND GRIEF

April often brings the fresh scent of spring rain mixed in with glimmers of sunshine. Sometimes, this mixed weather aligns with mixed feelings we have while on our grief journey. We may experience deep sadness in our processing while also allowing ourselves to embrace feelings of hope that may coincide with the spring season. Engaging with lessons of springtime, such as reflecting on cycles of life and opportunities for growth, can provide important ways for us to continue to live with grief while also embracing the changing season.

If the idea of embracing the new season and accepting the storm of grief feels overwhelming, spending time developing a mindfulness practice may act as one hopeful way to tackle the overwhelm. In the spirit of spring rain, American psychologist and writer, Tara Brach, has a resource on the website mindful.org, that may be fitting. She has written about an acronym R.A.I.N., which stands for Recognize what is going on; Allow the experience to be there, just as it is, Investigate with kindness; and Nurture. Below are ways to think about this tool in relation to grief.

R = Recognize what is going on: This step of R.A.I.N. encourages us to be consciously aware of the feelings that are impacting us. Try asking yourself the question “what am I feeling in this very moment?” For some people, labelling feelings can come easily while others find this more difficult. To help with this step, you may find it beneficial to use a feelings word list to help you zone in on specific feelings.

A = Allow the experience to be there, just as it is: Now that you have identified specific feelings, the next step allows us to ride out the feeling just as it is. Rather than trying to distract ourselves or ignore the feelings, we let the feelings happen. In grief, we often experience moments of sadness, guilt, joy, etc. Some feelings may be easier to sit with than others. By allowing ourselves to ride out whatever feeling we have in the moment, we are giving ourselves the true space we need to grieve.

I = Investigate with kindness: As we sit with feelings, this step asks us to investigate where we

notice the physical sensations in our body. Do we experience lightness or heaviness? Do we

feel tension or release? Do we have a lump in our throat or do we feel calm? When we

investigate with kindness, we try to be gentle with ourselves with whatever we find.

N = Nurture: This last step asks us to nurture ourselves with compassion. It acts us to think

about what we might need in that moment. It honours the fact that we have slowed down our overwhelm to acknowledge what is really going on for us. We might take this opportunity to reflect on whether we need to take additional time for ourselves, connect with a friend, or spend some time in nature.

It is hoped that going through the R.A.I.N. acronym might help us to take pause and notice

aspects of the grief journey that we may not otherwise.

Submitted by: Walking Through Grief Society

Funded by FCSS; City of Lloydminster, Towns of Vermilion and Wainwright, Village of Kitscoty, and County of Vermilion River.