Dictionary: Normal, ordinary, conforming to type, standard or regular pattern.
Psychological: Any behavior or condition which is usual, expected, typical or conform to pre-existing standard.
I seem to be hearing more comments such as “ I can’t wait to get back to normal”, or after a life changing experience “when will life be normal again and when will I feel normal?”
· Normal following the pandemic.
· Normal following a trauma event.
· Normal following the death of someone loved.
· Normal following any life change
CHANGE – LOSS- GRIEF
Normal becomes a memory we have but not a normal that we can return to. The more we strive for the return of “normal”, the more we become anxious, depressed and fearful of what lies ahead. Life has changed forever and what we had some control over in the past we now feel helpless about.
What can we do to move into, embrace, a “New Normal”?
If the normal you knew was one of times of joy , accomplishment, peace, and relationship even though it is painful to remember, it is good to go there in memory and gratitude. Remember though, that you can’t stay there. If the ”normal“ you knew was pain filled this may be the time to look forward to a “new normal” of change.
Looking ahead, through the long seemingly empty dark space is frightening and nothing seems familiar. Stepping into a “New Normal” is like a toddler taking first steps. Be brave, reach out to what lies outside of your sanctuary (safe place). Go on an outing to a store or for lunch with a friend, or more courageously, on your own. It may feel frightening and you are anxious but try it again. Maybe reduce the outing to a walk. Find a gratitude.
Sit and observe 5 Meaningful Moments; 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Find a gratitude for each thing.
You were dreaming dreams and now you have to dream new dreams. Old dreams are shattered and you will grieve the loss of those dreams. Share the dream you had with someone you trust, mourn that dream. What is a new small dream that you may dare to dream? HOPE.
Think about who you were earlier in your life: Your character. Did you have a strong personality, quiet, active , enjoyed sports, caring, giving , a planner, artistic. This may be a time to revisit the “you” from earlier times as part of your “New Normal”.
Be gentle with yourself. It may be two steps forward and one step back but you are making a step. Don’t freeze at the fork in the road and choose not to move forward. Risk to rebuild. Seek support, companionship of a friend , reading , seek a counsellor or support group, who are also finding their way on the “New Normal “ path. Find a little joy, hope and some gratitude on the journey. Remember to honor your loved one, by how you choose to live the rest of your life.
Submitted by Walking Through Grief Society – 780-846-2576/780-871-1750 or check the web or FB.
Funded by : Town of Vermilion, Wainwright, Village Kitscoty, County Vermilion River and donations.
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