CREATING SPACE FOR GRIEF DURING FATHER’S DAY

Father's Day can be especially difficult when you are grieving the loss of a father or a father

figure. Whether the loss is recent or happened years ago, the day can bring a mix of emotions.

Grieving may become more complex for those who have had a complicated relationship with their father’s or perhaps no relationship at all. Grieving experiences also vary depending on the stage of life that you are in. There are many ways to create space for grief that can fit with developmental stages across the lifespan.

Helping young children process grief on Father’s Day can be especially delicate, but with

thoughtful activities, you can honour their emotions and their father’s memory in a healthy and healing way. It may be helpful to help your child create a “Daddy Book” that includes pictures and memories of their father that they can add to as they grow. They may also benefit from visiting a special place that holds memories of their father.

For school-aged children, Father’s Day is often a common holiday that is acknowledged in the school setting and often becomes a focus for classroom activities and discussions. Participating in traditional Father’s Day crafts and activities may not feel appropriate for school-aged children, but they should always be provided with choice. Alternatives may include writing letters to their father that can be kept in a special spot or creating a special shadow/memory box that may contain their favourite objects or pictures of their fathers.

Adolescents grieving on Father’s Day brings new ways of processing loss. They are old enough to grasp the permanence of death, but are still learning how to manage and express grief in healthy ways. Supporting them means offering respect for their independence while also providing gentle, meaningful options to honour their fathers if they chose to and process their feelings. Adolescents may enjoy creating a playlist in their father’s honour that includes songs that remind them of their father or explain how they feel about him. Many adolescents also find art-forms to be therapeutic, so participating in an art project (e.g. painting, drawing, songwriting) may be beneficial.

Grieving Father's Day as an adult can often lead to layers of grief. Some may be processing

their own loss of a father or father figure while also having a layer of supporting their children in processing loss of a grandparent. An additional layer may be present for those who are grieving the loss of a spouse, which also results in a difficult process of supporting their children through Father’s Day. Regardless of the layers of grief, many adults find it helpful to create space for grief on Father’s Day by journaling, talking about their loved one with someone supportive, or making new rituals for remembering.

There are many ways to create space for grief during Father’s Day across the developmental

stages. With grief, there is no right or way to navigate your journey. Being aware of the complex emotions that holidays bring can help aid in your personalized journey.

Submitted by: Walking Through Grief Society

Funded by FCSS, City of Lloydminster, Towns of Vermilion and Wainwright, Village of Kitscoty, and County of Vermilion River.