This is a question many are asking as we come to the end of a year. For those who are grieving a loss , it may feel like the darkest time with nothing to be hopeful about. You may feel suspended in your pain, isolated and full of waves of emotions; anger, guilt, blame, hopelessness, anxiety, depression and despair. Normal feelings for one who’s life has been changed forever.
We are already bombarded with the carols and ads of buying and family gatherings, which only add to the fact your Christmas will be different and all you want is your loved one back , life to be normal again and the pain to end.
Prior to Covid, support was there to gather together and support with family connections remembering, tears and laughter. Now you have to navigate with restrictions in life that reduce the needed essential support of human touch and connection at the darkest time. You may wish right now the month would magically disappear. This isn’t going to happen so what can you do?
This may sound strange but there is hope and healing of your pain by moving through your pain and grief. You had relationship with and shared love and a connection with your loved one. If you were blessed to love deeply, you will grieve deeply. To evade the pain you would never have known the love of relationship.
In the restrictions we live in, find a way to reach out on your painful journey for someone who you trust to companion with you and to listen. Where pain is shared, it is halved. Discuss how you will plan to get through the holiday.
To find ideas to navigate the holidays, or to have conversation about your journey and your memories and reduce your isolation, look to friends or the support of the Walking Through Grief Society. You can access support and someone to listen at 780-846-2576/ c 780-871-1750 or email at wtgriefsupp@xplornet.ca
We leave with you the following message (author unknown)
A LITANY OF HOPE
In this season of hope, may we carry in each of our hearts and the heart of whatever we call family the hope of healing and renewal.
On the days when it is a challenge to face a world caught up in joy and lights and carols and gifts. May we receive the gift of understanding the depth of our loss and the hope of healing.
On the days when it seems that no one understands the changes in or lives and the memories carried deep inside. May we receive the gift of courage to speak with honesty and truth, to those who will listen.
When we are afraid to reach out and ask for help of neighbours, friends, co-workers and acquaintances, may we receive the gift of vulnerability to allow others to share pain with us and look together to the source of healing.
When in a fleeting moment we see our loved one out of the corner of our eye, smell his/her presence or hear his/her voice, may we acknowledge the mystery that is life and death and be comforted by a presence that we cannot name or fully know.
When we remember our role with those we cared for as wife, husband, partner, son, daughter, friend or confidante, may we honour the gift we gave and live in the hope that our loved one’s transition was more whole because of our presence with them.
And when hope seems so far away; when fear overcomes us, when suffering is all we remember, when guilt weights us down, when healing and wholeness seem a distant, unachievable goal, and when grief accompanies us like an unwanted guest, may hope be our strong and steadfast companion.
Hope to feel, hope to find community, hope to regain lost faith, hope even to laugh and dance to the tune of a song we have never heard before.
Submitted by: Walking Through Grief Society
Supported by FCSS: City of Lloydminster, Towns o ]f Vermilion and Wainwright, Villages of Kitscoty and Marwayne , County of Vermilion River and donations
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