October 15th is a time set aside across the country to remember and support those families who have experienced the pain and grief of miscarriage, still birth, infant loss due to SIDS and other causes. This is a time to remember the loss that took a little treasure, a little angel, far too soon. Often this is a time that remembering becomes a lonely journey, as those around are uncomfortable with how to support grieving families. There often is an uncomfortable feeling in recognizing that the infant was part of a family and someone the community never got to know. Those who have suffered such a great loss may feel that they don’t have a right to grieve (disenfranchised) and their grief is turned inward.
This is a time for the community to become aware of those who grieve and “seek to understand” the impact of such a loss for parents and also siblings and grandparents.
For you, the parents, we honour you as you remember the anticipation of being a parent, to now having empty arms. This has become the beginning of an emotional “roller coaster” of anger, fear, guilt, blame, depression, anxiety and so many more. You have experienced one of life’s greatest losses and you “grieve”. For grandparents you are experiencing a double grief as you grieve with and for your children but also for the grandchild you were to enjoy.
Some thoughts: your grief will take time to work through, it is a journey you must make and hopefully you will have found those who will companion you on the journey.
• Self care is important, even if you don’t care about yourself. Eating healthy and resting
• Express yourself and find a safe person to talk about feelings. Find an outlet i.e.: Journaling, walking, exercise.
• Seek out resources, books, articles, credible information on internet or a support group.
• Build a support network; friends, family, support group or faith community.
• Be understanding of your partners needs. At times it is difficult to comfort each other.
Find others you can lean on in difficult times.
A parent’s thoughts in poetry:
Forever in My Heart
You are forever in my heart/ the day will come I know/ when all the rain has fallen/ and the sun begins to show. / I’ll think of you in all I do/your warmth will touch my face/ you’ll twinkle in the starlight/ and be held in each embrace./ So please do not be saddened if a tear for you I shed/ but we had dreams and wishes/ which I’ll safely keep instead/ Although it hurts I understand/ our time together has not passed/In every day and every way/ you’ll always be a part/My precious little angel/ Your forever in my heart.
RESOURCES
info@firstcandle.org
www.firstcandle.org
www.walkingthroughgriefwebs.com or FB
Contact Shirley at 780-846-2576 0r 780-871-1750 or email wtgriefsupp@xplornet.ca
For more information or to receive a package of materials.
Remember to light your candle on Oct. 15th.
Submitted by Shirley L Scott for Walking Through Grief Society
Supported by FCSS; City of Lloydminster, Towns of Vermilion and Wainwright, Villages of Kitscoty and Marwayne , County of Vermilion River and public donations.
ความคิดเห็น