In the world and homes where dementia has entered, experiences of ambiguous grief and loss become part of the journey. The Alzheimer Society of Canada offers a helpful resource for individuals and families navigating the world of dementia titled Ambiguous Loss and Grief in Dementia. The resource provides the following definition for ambiguous loss: “a type of loss you feel when a person with dementia is physically there, but may not be mentally or emotionally present in the same way as before.” Ambiguous loss is a different experience than sudden loss, which often allows for a more traditional grieving process. In fact, ambiguous loss can be very complicated because individuals affected by dementia as individuals or family members do not always recognize it as a grieving process.
The following strategies are listed in the resource as ideas of how to support the person with
dementia through ambiguous loss:
Focus on what the person can do at each stage of dementia, rather than the abilities
that have been lost.
Acknowledge their grief. Listen with empathy and offer comfort and reassurance
without denying or discounting their expressed feelings.
Look for ways to make meaningful connections with the person each day.
Share your intimate knowledge of the person with dementia – personality, needs,
interests, likes, dislikes, favourite activities and life history – with any staff providing
care so they are better able to support and connect with that person as a unique
individual.
For family members navigating ambiguous loss, there are several suggestions in the resource to apply to their own lives. Here are a few examples:
Reach out for support.
Stay physically active.
Remain mentally active and socially involved.
Try stress management and relaxation activities.
Take regular breaks from caregiving responsibilities.
Find ways to stay connected to the person with dementia as they are today.
Though it is difficult, it is also important to be realistic about how dementia will affect the person over time. You need to plan for a life on your own after the person with dementia is gone.
To illustrate experiences of ambiguous loss with dementia, The Alzheimer’s Society of Canada resource integrates stories submitted by caregivers. To access the resource and to connect with other resources on dementia, you can follow this link: https://alzheimer.ca/en/help-support/i-have-friend-or-family-member-who-lives-dementia/managing-ambiguous-loss-grief
Submitted by: Walking Through Grief Society
Funded by FCSS; City of Lloydminster, Towns of Vermilion and Wainwright, Villages of Kitscoty and Marwayne and County of Vermilion River.
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